Monday, May 16, 2011, 9:11 PM
I wish you weren't my mum.
You have no idea how much you cause me hurt every single time.
Every single day of my life is always filled with hurt because of you.
I can't remember the last time, I didn't get hurt by you.
When I told you that my friend cuts his wrist,
you said how could the parents not know.
At that moment I wanted to tell you,
the same reason why you didn't notice when I cut my wrist.
You don't know when I cry,
You don't know when I'm hurting,
You don't know when I'm depressed,
You don't know when I'm suicidal,
You don't know when I'm troubled,
You don't know that I have problems breathing sometimes,
You don't know that I have panic attacks,
You don't know anything.
Even when I'm sad,
you continue to hurt me.
But it's just me.
I hate myself for all these.
Why is it that when people hurt my pride,
all I do is smile and act as if I don't care.
Especially when it feels like my heart is being trampled on the inside.
Even when I'm so hurt,
I will never cry in front of you.
Why must I be everyone's punching bag?
Why.
Do you know how much your words hurt me tonight?
Do you know how much I want to die everyday from your words?
Don't regret the day I do die.
Because I'm not worth it.
I never am.
