Monday, March 8, 2010, 10:58 PM
I cannot help but bring myself to notice that whenever I am upset,
I tend to blog a lot, thus my blog has multiple entries for just one day.
Don't like it?
Too bad.
This is my blog, my place to rant.
Regardless it is for venting anger, getting something off my chest, emo-ing or whatsoever.
Ultimately, it is still my place.
This post is going to contain of things that I have come to realise of myself and maybe some on the world around me since I started to change my way of thinking.
Or rather, opened up my mind to see not only myself but others too.
My comfort food would be anything spicy.
The spicier it is? The better.
My comfort place would be the swimming pool where I can exhaust myself in.
Exhaust myself so that I do not need to think of all those stuff that are making me worry and fret.
Things in those category gets deleted temporarily while I'm in the zone or eating my comfort food.
But.. comfort person?
I admit there is none.
I tried my best throughout these years.
I really did.
But I soon came to realise.
There actually isn't any.
Not because there's no one.
But because of my character and personality.
I do not allow anyone near me when I am upset or angry.
It is my sign of solitude.
I like my space.
I like being left alone.
But I admit for myself,
When I am left alone angry or sad, the damage I deal to myself is something no one can imagine.
Because I do everything in my means to hurt myself so much that I would just collapse.
Thus, every time I try to let someone near to me.
But so far it does not seem to be working out.
But I want to let you know, I am trying.
My best even.
The world is such a marvellous place when you look closely.
Stop whatever you are doing, just take the time to admire it.
But add in all the people?
What we get is just one heap of big ol' rubbish.
Why?
Because people pollute it.
Not by their existence.
But, rather by their actions and their thoughts.
These thoughts collate together, people come together.
Actions are taken and the world just bears the brunt of it all.
Suffering at our hands.
When are we going to learn that it is time to not only think for ourselves?
With the evolutionary changes taking place every single day,
why is it that no one seems to be changing?
Murders still take place.
Bribery. Peddling drugs. Using drugs. Overdosage of drugs. Prostitue. Children trafficking.
Human trafficking. Kidnaps. Everything bad that is done by the human mind.
Everything still happens.
I know.
everything happens for a reason.
and when it does?
you take it and have to deal with the shit.
good or bad, it still happens to everyone.
Some get it worse.
Some get it the worst.
Parents divorced or deceased. Orphan. Misfortunes throughtout their lives and when they reach adult hood and make a name for themselves. They think they can enjoy. BAM. cancer or some asshole disease just takes them away.
I salute these people.
I really do.
Compared to them?
I am a whole lot better off.
But I admit.
I cannot help but feel sorry for myself still.
Because I am not facing what they are facing.
I can never understand throughly what they feel.
I do not know how to end off this post.
so, ta ta.
