Sunday, February 21, 2010, 4:34 PM
Sometimes,
I just empty my brain of all the troubling thoughts.
And then?
I start to ponder over everything that has happened in life.
Going back to a few years ago.
If not for her,
I would never know there are people that I can trust.
If not for her,
I would not have met him.
If not for him,
I would never have been so hurt before in my life.
If not for that hurt,
I would never have learnt to trust another guy into my life.
Going a few more years back,
If not for them?
I would never be in the state I am in now.
I would not be such a coward.
No, I'm not a coward.
Coward is the wrong word.
But if not for them?
I would have a higher self esteem.
Rather than now?
Just one person looking at me,
can cause me to get so shy.
I am trying.
I am trying to forget all that had happened.
Everyone has their own hidden past that no one knows of.
So no one should judge one another just from what they see now.
That, I learned.
The hard way.
But.
No regrets.
Because this is my life.
I hold my life in my hands.
I control my life,
not others.
Whoever defies me?
I do not care.
Because what will happen in my life,
are things I believe in.
Not you.
Not him.
Not her.
Not them.
No one can change my life, only me.
There are factors that can change it.
But ultimately, you can steer back to the main road.
And things would go okay again.
I do not believe in the words.
No hope.
Because out there, somewhere.
There is hope.
You may think it is bull shit.
But from personal experience.
I know it well.
So go ahead.
Laugh all you want life.
I will get back at you.
