Friday, January 22, 2010, 6:58 PM
iHCI test over le.
Now doing GADs,
I now know what choice I should make.
Because, yet again.
Another person has made me realise something.
It's best to put on a mask and not act like your true self.
If that's what will appease everyone.
Then fine.
From today onwards, I am no longer going to show my true self to anyone in this whole world.
As of 22/01/2010, the Nicole everyone knows will cease to exist except in my own reality.
I will laugh, I will smile.
Even when my heart is breaking on the inside.
I will act like nothing bothers me.
Because no one deserves to see the real me.
No one.
I know very well that the year 2010 I have changed.
I no longer laugh because I want to.
I laugh because I need to.
If I don't, I will be perceived as a party pooper or someone who does not understand jokes.
So I laugh.
When was the last time I truly laughed?
I don't know.
When was the last time I truly smiled?
I don't know either.
Maybe staying this way is the best.
