Sunday, January 24, 2010, 12:32 AM
Have not been feeling well these days.
But no one knows.
Lol.
I realise if you do not say anything or show anything, no one will know.
Lol.
Have not been happy these days.
So many things are ruining my life.
Actually, no.
It's only one thing.
But that one thing is killing me.
I realise I'm getting closer and closer to the edge of death.
I hope,
a cure will come soon.
Because I do not know how long more can I take it.
I can smile, I can laugh.
But that does not prove I am okay.
It just means I am back to my old self.
That pretentious self.
I can no longer change.
If appeasing everyone means I should just say things that they will like to hear.
Then fine.
I give up.
I will no longer be myself.
I will lose my own sense of belonging.
I will just say things that can appease them.
I give up.
No one knows how much I have tried.
All you people can say is the same thing.
But none of you understand me.
And all of you make the same mistakes.
So what in the world gives you the rights to lecture me on things you do too?
Why is it that whenever anyone is angry,
It is always taken out on me.
Who am I?
A toy?
A puppet?
When I am angry, who can I show it to?
No one.
And girl, I hate you.
You talk behind people's backs all the time.
To think I initially thought you were some innocent girl.
But now, I know you're not.
I will be wary of you.
But let me just warn you.
Tread across the line.
I will deal with you myself.
Even if it means punching your fuck face.
I swear I will.
Back away because you have been warned.
Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
...
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins.
Feels so like me now.
Fml.
Someone please,
reach out your hands to save me.
Because I can no longer take it.
The immense anger that threatens to burst out of me everyday.
But I can't.
Because I have no place in this world.
No one to unleash it on.
Unlike everyone else.
