Sunday, November 1, 2009, 4:33 PM
sometimes, all i want is for people to understand.
that i want to be left alone.
when you keep interfering and i ask you to go away.
i mean it.
i really want to be left alone.
i hate staying at home because i can never get any time alone.
if it's not my mum then it's my two brothers.
i seriously need time alone.
i admit.
i want you badly to be by my side when i'm in this sort of state.
because i can't do it.
i can't stand it.
i can't cope with it.
i wish i was strong enough to cope with it.
but i'm not.
i need you.
but i don't want to get my hopes up.
because.
i have learnt that.
the more you depend on something.
when that thing disappears or abandons you.
you will fall straight into the ground.
fall hard.
not soft.
and when that happens.
you should pick yourself up.
but you just can't.
just can't pick yourself up.
i need you to be there.
but will it really last?
will you really be there?
you can't be there.
because it's like hiding behind the shadows.
never to be seen, it's something that always happens.
in the past.
now.
in the future.
i hate it.
but it's life.
so what's the use of wishing?
yearning?
everything is still the same.
nothing has changed in the many years.
no one is ever there.
truly.
can't stop crying.
because i wonder.
who's really there?
when i fall.
who can help me?
no one but myself.
but i'm already falling.
and i can't seem to grab onto anything.
nothing seems to be stopping me from falling.
falling to my death sounds like an irony.
lol.
