Friday, November 27, 2009, 6:36 PM
I don't know what should I do.
I am trying to contain it all inside of me.
I am trying to control my emotions.
But you don't know.
You have no idea what is the thing that is tormenting me every single day.
Just a thought of it makes me unable to contain or control it anymore.
I understand.
I really do.
But.
Eventhough I understand.
It doesn't mean I can control.
I am trying to think reasonably with myself.
Afterall, it is reasonable.
But it just doesn't work that way.
Things never do.
Maybe that's why people hate that emotion.
That hated emotion.
That emotion called ___.
I hate it.
I'm losing control over it.
But I can't do anything about it.
I wish I could be stronger to resist it.
But I can't.
If so many people can't, how can i?
I won't tell you.
I didn't want things to become like this.
I won't sabotage what I have anymore.
I regret what I did in the past.
I regret of the action.
The action called ___ __ ___.
I will never do it again.
But who can hear me?
Who can be my listening ear?
A listening ear who won't tell the person who's involved with my problem?
I can't think of anyone.
You may not say. But you may accidentally leak it out.
You may not say. But you will hate.
Two different groups of people to tell.
But two outcomes each for each group.
Who isn't in those groups?
I have no one not in there who I can tell.
I will try my best.
To contain that emotion inside of me.
Because I trust you.
Yes, I do.
Regardless of that emotion, I still trust you.
But it's not about trust now.
It's about feeling like I'm __ ____.
I hate it.
Hate it all.
